Charlie Sheen quotes

On if he sleeps: “The nights I don’t sleep it’s because there’s a higher calling telling me to stand guard.” – to Howard Stern

On himself: “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.” – to the Today Show

On his mission: “I have to right this unconscionable wrong. Many people are suffering. And I’m the only guy who can affect the change.” – Charlie Sheen Quote to Howard Stern

On drugs: “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” – to 20/20

On being with porn stars: “Wow. Well, listen to that statement. Look at what they do. Look what I do. It’s like, ‘Duh.’ […] They’re the best at what they do. I’m the best at what I do. It’s like, ‘Duh.’ Sorry, Middle America. I said it.” – to 20/20

What tiger blood means: “It’s a metaphor for having absolute rocket fuel in my veins. When it comes to getting focused and delivering things in a way…” – to Howard Stern

On if he owns guns: “No. Not anymore. They took them all away. …That’s another subject.” – Charlie to Howard Stern

On “the goddesses”: “I’m entertained as hell. I’m not saying that it’s not true, but I’m saying I’m laughing. And I’m laughing with the goddesses; I’m laughing with my friends.” – to The Today Show

On drugs, again: “The last time I took drugs I probably took more that anyone could survive. I was banging seven gram rocks because that’s how I roll, I have one speed, go. I have a different constitution, a different brain, a different heart. I got tiger blood man.” – to 20/20

About Chuck Lorre: “It was a fake friendship. I never felt respected in a way that I should have been. … I showed up and this dude won the lottery. And so I always felt like, ‘Why am I being treated like an unwelcome relative and being given cold coffee at, like 8 PM in the middle of the fourth inning?’” – to the Today Show

On being with the porn stars: “I’m gonna say this. It’s a polygamy story. All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It’s like an organic union of the hearts.” – to 20/20

On the porn stars: “You’ve read about the goddesses, come on. They’re an international sensation. These are my girlfriends. These are the women that I love that have completed the three parts of my heart.” – to the Today Show

On being grandiose: “Don’t be worried, don’t be worried. I am grandiose because I live a grandiose life; what’s wrong with that?” – to the Today Show

“I did that because they work … change the way you see things and change the way you feel. And yeah, when you’re a little bit bored with the redundancy of certain aspects of your life, yeah, I think that’s why people do them.” – to Howard Stern

On..who knows: “What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards and all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.” – to 20/20

On Denise Richards: “Awesome. Awesome. Top Gun rockstar. Awesome.” – to 20/20

On himself: “I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest,” he said. “I’m extremely old-fashioned. I’m a nobleman. I’m chivalrous.” – to the Today Show

On his home rehab: “Well, we couldn’t really call it rehab because we didn’t have a license to operate one, so it was a crisis management centre that we labelled the Sober Valley Lodge. … its primary client achieved radical success.” – to the Today Show

On Mel Gibson, who called him: “He’s a rockstar.” – to Howard Stern

On Ambien: “Ambien. Hello. Ambien. Hello. The devil’s aspirin? That was the one thing in New York that was not part of my normal blend.” – to 20/20

On the movie Apocalypse, which he watches almost nonstop: “I think it’s a magical odyssey.” – to Howard Sheen

On learning Two and a Half Men was canceled: “I was disappointed. I think people misinterpret my passion for anger.” – to The Today Show

On addiction: “I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind, and unlearned 22 years of fiction … the fiction of AA. It’s a silly book written by a broken-down fool.” – to the Today Show

On himself: “I healed in like two days.” – to Howard Stern

25. “Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.”

24. “I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. [I survived] because I’m me. I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.”

23. “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitching, a total … rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

22. “Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words –- imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists.”

21. “I got magic and I got poetry in my fingertips.”

20. “Women are not to be hit. They’re to be hugged and caressed. … She was attacking me, though, with a small fork — like a cocktail fork. And she had it with her; that was the weird part. What was she doing with, like, a shrimp fork in her purse? She stole it, clearly. From a buffet.”

19. “Rock bottom — that’s a fishing term.”
18. “The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards — all of them — look like droopy-eyed, armless children.”

17. “I’m not bipolar, I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there.”

16. “Can’t is the cancer of happen.”

15. “I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

14. “I expose people to magic. I expose people to something they’ll never experience in their boring normal life!”

13. “They can’t hang with me, their bones would melt like wax.”

12. “They’re trying to destroy my family, so I take great umbrage with that. And defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock.”

11. “Blame the studio for giving me this much dough knowing who they were giving to.”

10. “There’s been a tsunami of media, and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.”

9. “That was an old brain. I have a new brain. I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year old.”

8. “I’m grandiose. Because I live a grandiose life. I’m not ‘aw shucks’ … because I’m gnarly.”

7. “I’m an F-18 bro and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

6. “I wish people would shift that focus on to themselves and their own family and their own friends and just maybe spend a little more time on their home front. And not some distant planet that is me.”

5. “I don’t believe myself to be an addict. I really don’t. I think that I just ignore or smash or finally dismiss a model that I think is rooted in vintage balderdash, you know? For lack of a better word.”

4. “Regarding TV personality Dr. Drew Pinsky: “To like have a prognosis about somebody you’ve never been in the same room with, based on his image in a media setting? He should be ashamed of himself. I would never sit here and tell you who the heck he is or what drives or fuels him. I don’t know. Got to dismiss these clowns.”

3. “I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.”

2. “You start hearing stories about they’re going to hire John Stamos. You guys do that, you deserve everything that happens later, you know. Sorry, John, you’re a lovely man. But you got on me on Howard Stern, bro, and I don’t forget anything.”

1. “I’m still alive, which is pretty cool.”

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~ by whereisdagnytaggart on March 2, 2011.

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